This FAQ can be distributed, emailed, faxed and printed by anyone, anywhere. It will be posted occasionally in alt.sport.foosball. I do not use a spell checker, and frequently do not make sense. These are my theories on the discipline of foosball. I have no scientific studies or data to back up these ideas but I think you'll find them amusing and perhaps useful.

OK, how to you go from rookie to Pro in the shortest amount of time...

METHOD 1: Slow and Steady Wins The Race!

Go to 1-2 DYP's a week and practice 1 to 2 hours a week and go to 2-5 Majors a year. I estimate this method will turn you Pro in 3-6 years. Your game will have depth and you'll be a well rounded player. Your skills will be strong. I know we all want to become Pro over night but it takes some time.

METHOD 2: Eat, Sleep, Live Foos!

Play 5-7 DYP's a week and attend 4-5 Majors and 2 15 granders or greater. Clearly you must become a bum to follow this method because you will not be able to hold down a job and you will sleep all day and be up all night. My careful observations of fellow players lead me to believe you can turn Pro in approximately 1-2 years with this method. You will have a tremendous amount off foosball tournament experience but you will lack some depth and you may suffer from Foosball burnout and this can lead to an abandonment of the game completely.

METHOD 3: Ride Those Coattails!

If you got some cash and enjoy playing the pits...you can almost pay to become Pro in 1-2 years. Many of the Pros created in method 2 above need money more than fame to support their foos habit and will gladly team up with you for the proper fee. 5-10 majors should be all it takes to launch your career. You will be one hell of a goalie but you'll need to develope that singles game and forward position in the future.

All three methods will take you to the top. I'm sure you know Pros from all three categories. As I look at the back of last years Foosball cards I can see that over 15 Pros have over 15 years experience on the table and about half of them have 20 years experience! Wow! I believe it takes the average player about 650 Draws and 12+ majors to become Pro.

Statistics about Pro Masters

Let examine a Pro Master...From calculations on the back of the Foos trading cards, I've determined he/she has played an average of 16 years. I'll estimate that they have averaged 1 DYP a week and 3 Majors and 1 World a year. That means they've played 1,600 Draws, 48 Majors, and 16 Worlds!!!! Wow...I'm not worthy!

So, keep up the hacking and in 16 years let me know how you're doing.