Very nicely put.
After having battled off & on over 20 years, I can still hardly believe when I'm playing with relative beginners how palpable the lack of confidence, or fear, still is. The tightness of their grips, the whiteness of the knuckles, especially in a tight meatball 3rd or 5th game, actually makes me want to chuckle.
When I'm managing a beginner or rookie right, I find it really helps to just break out laughing. I explain that these moments, when you're on the hill, 4-4 against a highly favored team or at least the forward who's been drilling your team, are why we drove to get there. Perhaps some sick twisted players come and enjoy playing if they just drub all whom they face, but I always remind myself that a tough tight match, or even just the fighting to keep alive when you and your team are being overwhelmed, is EXACTLY why one plays. That is what really matters. You and your team might still get crushed, and have to accept that, but you must really really force yourself to enjoy the battle, to win the tight ones and also to survive the ones where you, your partner, or both of you are just screwing everything up and every break falls the other way.
That is what I travel and pay the entrance fee for. That is the entertainment. It would suck if you just kept losing, but I relish few matches more than when I drew a beginner, got him/her to do some basics, and still won through. You usually have to put a heck of a lot more than you would with a more experienced partner, but it is just worth more.
I would just let the fear wash over and all around me. And when it all passes, that's where you find you're by yourself, realizing how alive you felt and feel, and it is really exhilarating! After I realized how fun this was, I just never lose that confidence anymore. You want to play those favored teams, you want to get in really tight matches, and you anticipate that time.