Here I was, talking smack on the NW board. Telling a guy I didn't know that I'd partner with him even though he was bickering with a number of players who really were down on him. So I figure he has to have game to bring out that kind of aggression in other players. I always liked the "roosters". I just like spirited people who aren't afraid to crow. So I join in and play the hype game. The problem was is that I still didn't have that something that made me a player back when, in the day. I felt that my skills were as good but doubt just kept creeping in. These guys can play nowadays and what I thought I knew seems to be common knowledge for the most part. But not everything, So there I was, thinking maybe I'm finding out that I am now just an older man who is trying to relive the dream, nothing special, a real downer(70's term). So Im moping around"well I gotta do this, I talked the talk, that's easy". But honestly I'm not really feeling like I can back any of it up. About an hour before the "ordeal" was to begin I looked through a book that I used to prepare for archery competiitons. I had a book marker on a page, it had a nice comparative set of lists, one for positive energy and one for negative energy. Positive- Joy fun love challenge optimism determination enjoyment --leading to--calm mental state- good concentration-relaxed muscles-leading to--high performance level. The other side was Negative energy----anxiety, anger,hate,fear,negativism,frustration,distrust--leading to---fast and frantic mental pace, poor concentration, tight muscles--leads to--low-level performance. All those feelings I had were on the negative side and just seeing them made me realise that I like this game, I have game that is a bit different from most due to where I come from and how I learned. I had no reason to go there and not enjoy myself and to put myself out there. And besides, I told the guy I would play back, I love to get into the head games of the game and blocking is all about that. So I just made up my mind that I was going to make anyone I played, deal with me rather than me deal with them. And I had a blast! I just got into this place where I 'played'. The last match I played , and lost, was against a tour player, probably one of the best I ever played. The problem was he had to deal with me. It was a long match and my friends were giving me encouragement for all the blocks I was making on him. My front man got into a funk but I kept going and though we lost it was close and a long time coming. Even though I would compliment him on a good shot he wouldn't acknowledge me at all at the conclusion of the match. I took that as the best compliment of all! Next time I might play front, my true love, and I will kick his arse. The whole point is that attitude is everything and if you're honest with yourself you can come to the conclusion that nobody cares if you play weak. But if you really enjoy this game and have learned how to do some"STUFF" then enjoy and do it! Nobody cares if you lose and it is alot of fun to win or at least make your statement.